One month ago today, I lost my wife, my best friend and my soulmate.

I can’t say that things are getting any easier, but keeping busy doing the things that Dani would want me to be doing for our boys certainly helps.

I’ve posted the words that I spoke about Dani at her memorial service here. I want to continue to share how much I love her with everyone, and to continue to share what an amazing person she was and my commitment to live up to her belief in me, to do the best I can for our boys, and to everyday try to be a bit more like Dani.

These are the words I spoke about Dani at her memorial service…

Danielle

Firstly, thank you all for being here today, helping to share memories and celebrate the life of an amazing person that has touched all of our lives in some way.

There have been many chapters in Danielle’s life and I was privileged to share some of them with her. Her life was too short – something I cannot understand nor comprehend – but it was been a full and amazing life. And today I’d like to share some reflections on our shared chapters with you…

Meeting Dani

If you’re very lucky – there are times when you meet someone and you know right away that they are special and that they are going to have a big impact on your life.

I had that feeling when I first met Dani back in early 2002, I was between flats, and my Sister let me stay at her shared flat for a week or two.

And that’s where I met Dani. I still remember how her eyes were bright and sparkled with energy and sunshine. She had been reading a book – the ‘Way of the Peaceful Warrior’. A spiritual type book about making things happen and living life to the full, a book that I had also recently read. One evening we got talking about that book and about many other things – in fact we just kept on talking till the early hours of the morning.

The next day I remember remarking to a friend that I had been talking with this amazing girl half the night and wasn’t even drinking!

Our friendship developed rapidly and soon we were dating.  Everything was so right and flowed so well. We had amazing trips to France and Denmark and Italy – all sorts of places. We got engaged in Venice after having only being going out for 3 months or so… we both just knew it was right, we both knew we had found our soulmate… Things were moving fast now and we were both so excited and blissfully happy…we were moving at Dani’s pace now…  and I couldn’t believe that she had chosen me.

Making things happen

An amazing thing about Dani was her ability to make things happen. If you were ideally dreaming of doing something – if you shared that with Dani then you could consider it done.  If you needed a push – Dani would give you one! One day after a lovely day at London theme park and still high on adrenaline from the roller coasters – I told Dani that I’d always wanted to skydive… nothing much more was said about it until a few weeks later Dani tells me that she has found the perfect skydiving location in Spain, got a group together to come over an do it for my 30th birthday, booked flights and everything…. I was absolutely terrified, more than any others in the group but it was awesome and I could tick that one off the list thanks to Dani.

Family

Like everything else in her life Dani threw herself into the challenge of motherhood with great enthusiasm and dedication and she loved it. It became her true calling – doing everything she could to be a fantastic mother to our two boys – and she succeed in every way.

She did everything she could to ensure we raised happy, healthy and good little people. Dani was always arranging activities for the boys – play dates, swimming, soccer, day trips, music classes and more. She was passionate about spending quality time with them. And she always loved baking for them – there would always be some homemade banana cake or carrot cake for their snacks.

Dedication

We wanted our boys to be good readers and so Dani, in her usual way set about making this happen, she put in the time to read to Max every day since we first bought him home from the hospital – everyday without fail – and it’s so nice now to see him powering his way through large chapter books and really loving reading! And Benji now, happily following in Max’s footsteps and loving his books.

Our two amazing boys are living proof of the love, nurturing and thoughtful care that Dani provided

Compassion

Dani had the amazing ability and determination to always do what she felt was right – and not just what was easy.

Dani had a huge amount of compassion and love for animals. At age of 5 the children were taught at school where meat comes from.. well that was it for Dani – no more meat ever. From then on she was a strict vegetarian – but like everything she just quietly did this… she didn’t pressure anyone to convert to her way. She just did what she felt was right. She didn’t want anyone to go to any trouble at BBQ’s or functions – she’d be happy with bread or plain rice if need be. She always stuck to her beliefs and didn’t force them on others – but you were always welcome come along…

That was the type of quiet consideration and dedication that Dani applied to all aspects of her life…

Thinking of others

Dani was always thinking of others. She was happiest when we were out and about exploring somewhere new, preferably involving food, she was so passionate about good food and travel – whether it be restaurants in Sunnybank or a tiny hidden pizzeria in Rome.  And when she found a great new place the first thing she would be to share it with others  – she would say ‘Dad would love this place – we have to take him here!’

Final challenge

A persons true character is often revealed when faced with great adversity. The strength and courage Dani displayed during her long battle with Leukemia was incredible. Faced with challenges most of us can’t imagine – Dani always remained focused on others.

All she wanted to do was to protect us, her family, and it broke my heart that I could not protect her from it.

And during this time she still ran our house like clockwork – making sure all the kids needs are taken care of, food ordered, outings arranged, birthday parties organised – and she did all this from an iPad in hospital. She never stopped doing everything she could for her family.

And now in closing, I reflect on Dani’s amazing life and everything she has given me and our boys and everything she has taught us – about life, about love, about laughter and about family.

About positivity and happiness, about dedication an selflessness, about compassion and caring and about determination…

Sharing the wonderful, happy time that we shared has been such a privilege and an honour and the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Dani – through your unconditional love and care you have shaped us – and you will live on strongly through our boys Max and Benjamin. And through me. I am so much of a better person now because of you. We will never forget you.

Dani, I am still so honoured that you chose me. My great challenge now is to live up to the belief you have always had in me. And everyday I will try to be more like you.

You are my soulmate –  I love you and I always will and you will always be with us

So rest now my peaceful warrior…

Till we meet again…